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This is an article I wrote from back when I first started this site, before it became a blog.
1:40am: This is a true story about the potential effects of “tilt” on the human brain, and how it can ruin not just your day, week, month, or year - but also your life.
For the sake of anonymity, we will call the unfortunate soul “Nate”. About 4 years ago, Nate was introduced to poker, right around the time the poker boom first started. He had no clue how to play, but he took one step in a card room, and knew he was interested in finding out. Nate had a couple of friends from which he could learn. However, like most people, he was no good and lost a little bit of money in the beginning. He was lucky to get away with the downswings at this point, however, as he was mostly playing 3-6 limit hold em and similar low limit games.
After a couple of months of losses, Nate noticed he had started winning. He had a couple of winning sessions here and there, and eventually he noticed he was winning more than he was losing. Nate had turned $200 into about $1,300 within 3 months of learning the game. He then decided to test his skills in a higher limit game (2-5 NL) with his $1,300 bankroll (which is a BAD idea if you have read any of my articles). However, it actually worked out in Nate’s case because he ran into a tremendous run of both great cards and beginners luck in this increase in stakes. At the same time, I was experiencing a similar run coincidentally, and Nate and I were literally lighting the felt on fire. Nate then turned the $1,300 into $10,000 in about a month following his initial $1,300 run. I, meanwhile, had taken in around $8,000 that month, which wasn’t as impressive as his run, but I felt like my profit was more of a steady grind and less of a good run.
With that being said, Nate was on top of the world. He had money he never dreamed he would, he made new friends, and was doing this all by doing something he now loved: poker. He also partied like a rock star and dined like a king. Every night, either before or after poker, he frequented local upscale strip clubs and partook in activities that I won’t mention here. In addition to this, you can tell he was high on life. It’s as if his smile was permanently glued onto his face.
However, as you will find out, that smile did come off his face. What you are about to hear is not pleasant to the ears, nor is it all that uncommon. Don’t think that it can’t happen to you, because there is a fine line between profitability and disaster in poker.
After his $10,000 run, Nate then went on to higher limits. He gave 5-10 NL a shot, which also proved to be profitable. He then turned $10,000 into $20,000 within another month and a half or so, and at his peak had earned $23,000. With more money than he had ever known in his life, and with a great bid of confidence from the other players in the casino, Nate stepped up to the big weekend game: 10-25 NL . The idea of making $2,000 routinely on a single pot was highly attractive to him because he felt very comfortable with his ability to play the game and to think and make better decisions than the players around him, no matter what their income level was. Nate didn’t “crush” the game as he previously did with 2-5 NL, however he didn’t do all that bad either. It is very routine to lose or win $2,000 in one single session in this game. However, as a wise person once told me, “the wins never feel as good as the losses feel bad.” Nate had a bad night and lost $3,200 in a session, and this did not sit well with him at all. In an attempt to get his money back, he took a trip to the “pits” to play some baccarat. As we all know (hopefully), casino table games are “house revenue” games, and have a negative expectation in the long run. Nate simply did not understand this concept as he sat down at the table. However, in a “fortunate” swing of events for him, Nate actually got ALL of his money back plus another $500. He gave me a call to tell me the good news, and he sounded like he was on top of the world. This one event would change the course of his life as we know it.
I took the time to explain to Nate how dangerous these casino games were, and explained to him the best I could the concept of negative expectation and long run return. He assured me that he understood what I was saying and that it was a one time occurrence just intended as a way to “get even” from his recent losing session in the big game. Nate went to sleep with piece of mind but then returned the next night to give the 10-25 NL a try again with a fresh outlook and clean slate. Low and behold, the same unfortunate situation presented itself before him, and he was stuck $2,500 for the night about 6 hours into it. We would always walk over to each others’ tables to check on each other to see how the other was doing. On my way to the big game to see how he was doing, I noticed that he wasn’t there anymore, and someone new was in his seat. I found it odd that he would leave without saying goodbye, even if he had a losing session. It just didn’t seem like something he would do. On a hunch, I thought he might have went to the baccarat table again, so I took a walk over there. I was shocked to see he was there for the second night in a row. I then asked Nate “what in the world” he was doing, and urged him to get up. He assured me that he would in a little while. When people tell me something, I give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise, so I went back to my cozy spot at the 2-5 NL table.
At the end of my session and on the way out, I stopped by the baccarat table to say goodbye to Nate. However, we was not there. I thought, “this couldn’t be good, no way.” I was right. I got a call about 10 minutes later saying “dude I’m SICK. I lost $8,000 tonight.” Of course I felt bad for him, but I wanted to be a good friend rather than a sympathetic one and told him that although I feel for his situation, I cannot comfort him because I originally disagreed with his decision to play baccarat. We had a meaningful and seemingly constructive conversation about how we would easily be able to grind the money he lost back by playing solid poker AND going back to the middle stakes. I explained to Nate the effects of bankroll on his play and also his “tilt factor.” He agreed, vowed to only play poker, and we ended the conversation.
The next month consisted of Nate grinding his money back, and calling me at the end of the night looking for advice on if he was making correct decisions or not. Most of his poker decisions were correct, and I assured him that his decisions at the poker table were never in question. Once he won all of his money back, he once again started playing 10-25 NL despite my disapproval. In fact, as a measure of protest, I told Nate that I would not talk to him until he did two things: 1. stop playing limits that weren’t in his bankroll range, and 2. stop playing baccarat in attempt to make up for money that he lost in poker. There was a noticeable difference in the frequency of time we spent talking, as he knew I was ashamed of him. I also got the feeling he was ashamed of himself as well, despite his uncontrollable urge to mend his wounds at the baccarat table. I didn’t hear from him in two weeks, so I figured things couldn’t be that bad because if had lost a significant amount of money in one night or week, I would have received a call from him for sure.
Then the phone rang. It was Nate. Before I could even say “Hello”, he interrupted me by saying “It happened again.” I said, “What do you mean ‘it’ happened again?” He said, “Me. Me happened again.” “How much have you lost?”, I said. He replies, “You don’t even want to know.” I held my breath and expected the worst, but he told me that he had about $7,000 left. I told him to calm down and to put things into perspective: after all, he started with $200 and had been able to live off his profits from poker for a good while now. He was distressed almost to the point of being inconsolable. However, by the end of the conversation we had come to an understanding of where his mind was and where it needed to be. He vowed, once more, to never play baccarat again and to grind back his profits by playing 2-5 NL.
Things went well for about a week. The phone rang again. It was him. “It’s gone”, he said. “All of it?”, I replied. “Yes, Jason.” Obviously there were no words I could possibly say to him to console him or to make him feel any less worse than he already felt. The only thing I could tell him was that I am his friend, and I was there for him, so if he needed to vent or if he needed a person to talk to about it, he shouldn’t hesitate to get in touch with me. He took a cold shower and then went to sleep for what seemed to be about a week, because I didn’t hear from him.
Nate then walks up to me on a routine night at the 2-5 NL and tells me that he was able to get his hands on $2,000 and that he was back with a fresh outlook and new attitude. Even though I disagreed with $2,000 as being a sufficient bankroll for 2-5 NL, I encouraged him in his decision to return to poker because I knew that when he is playing his “A” game, he is one of the better players in the casino. He sat down with me at the 2-5 and crushed the game just as I thought he would. “See? I told you, man. This is where it’s at.”, I told him following our session. He seemed slightly encouraged but it seemed like something was still on the back of his mind. “It was a loan, Jason.”, he told me on the way out. “Are you serious?”, I asked, although he was obviously very serious. I didn’t even need to tell him that this was a bad idea, he already knew. However, I still had faith in him as a player, so I hoped for the best and wished him luck.
Two weeks passed and he turned $2,000 into $5,000. Two more weeks passed and he turned $5,000 into $10,000. A month later Nate had overcame all odds and turned $2,000 into $20,000 once more and once again he was on top of the world. I asked him what he thought about paying back the loan now that he had the money and a comfortable bankroll. “I’ll let it ride until I get down to the last $2,000.”, he replied. I shook my head and disagreed, but knowing Nate, there was no changing his mind.
Well, since you know before reading this story that it is a “nightmare story”, I don’t think I need to tell you what happens next. In short, Nate once again “got comfortable”, started playing higher limits, and was unable to handle the downswings. Lightning struck yet again, and Nate was once again broke. However, I didn’t get a call this time: I had to call him. For a week or so, he didn’t answer his phone out of shame, which is understandable considering the level of embarrassment he probably felt. When I finally got in touch with him, he asked me, “Dude, what is wrong with me?”. I then told him that he had a problem.
Once again, on a routine night at the 2-5, Nate walks up to me noticeably more happy, and he told me that he now has $4,000 to work with. I asked him if it was a loan, and he just walked away without answering.
Can you believe what happens next? He once again turned $4,000 into over $20,000: $22,000 to be exact. We had a conversation on the phone where i preached to him for about 4 hours straight that he was given a third lease on life and that he needed to guard this bankroll with his life, and he agreed. However, once again I found him at the 10-25 NL table on a Friday night. I looked at him in scorn, and pretty much ignored any attempts he made to justify his decision. I then decided to just cut all ties to my personal emotion when it came to this matter, and that he had to make mistakes on his own in order to fully learn his lesson. On my way out, I once again stopped at the table just to say bye only to discover that he was not there.
Low and behold, he was sitting at the baccarat table with a sob story about how he had lost $1,500 on some “donkey call” another player made pre flop, calling $1,500 with Ac5c while Nate held KsKc, only to spike an ace (actually, two aces) on the flop. “I give up.”, I told him, so I just sat there at the table with him and watched him play. To make an already long story shorter, I will just sum things up by saying that 4 hours later, it was gone. All of it. We then walked out together, and I thought he might be suicidal at that point, so I stayed on the phone with him on the way home. He still owed me $500 from this one time I spotted him when he wanted to buy into a 2-5 NL game but didn’t have the cash on him. He vowed to repay me, as soon as he got a job. I told him not to worry about it at all, and that he had more important things to focus on, namely paying back $17,000 in loans (which I only thought was $6,000 but he admitted it was more) and regaining his sanity. We hung up and parted ways for the night. A couple of weeks went by and I didn’t hear from him, so I gave him a call. He didn’t answer. People at the casino were asking about him as if I was his secretary, and I put two and two together and realized that he might owe some people money. More time passed, and I still hadn’t heard anything from Nate.
To this day, I still haven’t.
- What lesson can be learned here? First off, never ever ever ever ever play a limit that your bankroll cannot support (see my bankroll article). Secondly, and perhaps even more important is: never play casino revenue table games. Those games are not designed for the player to win, and as we talked about in a previous article: there is a reason casinos “wine and dine” players with free meals, hotel rooms and guest privileges. And last but not least, learn to control your emotions at the table. Ultimately, Nate couldn’t control his “tilt factor,” and this was his fatal flaw. It was a shame to see someone with so much raw talent at the poker table not have the discipline to be a true professional at what he was doing. Do not make the same mistake!
- The key to avoiding the same fate is knowing yourself. Know everything about yourself. Know your tendencies, know your habits, know you strengths and most importantly: know your weaknesses. If you are self aware of the destructive behavior that can cause you to lose your bankroll, you can avoid it when you recognize you are heading down an undesirable path. For example, if you know you will be tempted to play blackjack to make up for your poker losses when you have a losing session, only bring a certain amount with you to the casino and leave your atm card at home!
- Always keep in mind the big picture. If you are a true professional poker player, you know that your hourly wage includes the losing sessions. On your way out of the casino on a miserable night, just tell yourself, “It’s ok. I’m still making $x/hr.” Only you know what your statistics look like in the long run, which is why keeping track of your results is so important, as we have already talked about.
Start a Clean Slate at a New Room, a New Sharkscope, and Keep HFL Free in the Process
